I Am Not Gay…(and I have no idea what that’s like)

girl looking out windowI am a woman and I like men. From the time I was a little girl, I carried the fantasies that so many girls dream – to meet a guy, fall in love, get married, have kids, have a life  long companion etc etc.

Well, that happened, kind of , not in the way I wanted In fact, it has been pretty messy. Widowed now 10 years, that desire has not changed. There are longings in the heart for companionship, even deeper given all the fractured ways that has happened.

I have no idea what it is like to desire someone of the same sex. It doesn’t resonate with me because when I think of attraction, I think of men. I have no idea of the struggles that people with same sex orientations face, and even more so if they are Christian who believe that homosexuality is a sin.

I came across this really interesting read by Sarah Pulliam Bailey, Gay, Christian and Celibate. The articles speaks of Christians who have a same sex orientation, believe that homosexuality is wrong and decide not to act upon it. They have no desire for the opposite sex, because they desire the same sex. But they choose to remain faithful and so they remain celibate.

I have no idea what that is like. Sure, I know my struggles with various issues. I know the issues in my own life that remain a battle. I know the repeated repentance and the desire to change. I know of change that has happened and also the change I wonder will happen. Continue reading

What the Grammys Really Revealed

grammy_awards_2014_wedding_couplesIn an effort to avoid the sensationalist reaction that seems to be norm at current events, I refrained from blogging about the events of the 2014 Grammys. More specifically, I resisted the urge to pontificate about the mock wedding ceremony to Macklemore’s Same Love, which was designed to demonstrate that same sex marriage was no different than traditional marriage.

I concur with this tweet

I’m not sure when the Grammy’s became something more than music and a platform for a social cause, but nonetheless, there it was. Ed Stetzer of Christianity Today wrote an interesting commentary on the matter about what the Grammys really revealed was a shift in society,

Now, the Grammy Awards presentation is not the show you watch for high-brow cultural commentary or family-friendly entertainment. News reports indicate that many parents were shocked by Beyoncé (among others). I honestly have to wonder if these parents have heard of Beyoncé before now, and why were they expecting the Grammys to be family friendly. (J. Lo’s dress from 2000 is easy to recall from the dark recess of our memories.)

So, the Grammys are not representative of our culture, but in some ways they are indicative of its shifts. And, the Grammy moment is a good moment to remind ourselves of a few things. Continue reading