Christian living

I Am Not Gay…(and I have no idea what that’s like)

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

girl looking out windowI am a woman and I like men. From the time I was a little girl, I carried the fantasies that so many girls dream – to meet a guy, fall in love, get married, have kids, have a life  long companion etc etc.

Well, that happened, kind of , not in the way I wanted In fact, it has been pretty messy. Widowed now 10 years, that desire has not changed. There are longings in the heart for companionship, even deeper given all the fractured ways that has happened.

I have no idea what it is like to desire someone of the same sex. It doesn’t resonate with me because when I think of attraction, I think of men. I have no idea of the struggles that people with same sex orientations face, and even more so if they are Christian who believe that homosexuality is a sin.

I came across this really interesting read by Sarah Pulliam Bailey, Gay, Christian and Celibate. The articles speaks of Christians who have a same sex orientation, believe that homosexuality is wrong and decide not to act upon it. They have no desire for the opposite sex, because they desire the same sex. But they choose to remain faithful and so they remain celibate.

I have no idea what that is like. Sure, I know my struggles with various issues. I know the issues in my own life that remain a battle. I know the repeated repentance and the desire to change. I know of change that has happened and also the change I wonder will happen. Continue reading →

How Do you Know if You are Experiencing God’s Favor?

Lisa Spencer4 Comments

I came across this blog post today 4 Things Jesus Didn’t Die For. I found the first point, the American Dream, pretty compelling;

He didn’t die to make you healthy, wealthy, secure, and comfortable. This may be your current state, but don’t let that to lead you into thinking it’s a promise. God blesses those that belong to him, sometimes with temporal comfort but spiritual chastening, and sometimes with temporal suffering but spiritual flourishing.

However, there is a devastatingly harmful teaching present in churches across America, which claims that physical “blessings” are a sure sign of God’s favor. Not only does this fly in the face of the entire Bible, but it is also a grievous offense to those Christians going through immense persecution in countries all over the world, often in impoverished circumstances. There is only one sure sign of God’s favor: the death of his Son.

Christian, Jesus’ death means he has taken on your sin, in exchange for his righteousness. God has shown us “the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 2:7) These are the only riches you are promised in this life; the joy and peace that comes with knowing that you have a good, loving God that has saved you at the infinite cost of his only begotten Son.

It’s taken a long time in my Christian walk for me to realize that we’ve kind of missed the boat if we think favor translates into my life looking pretty good. In fact, sometimes favor means just the opposite.

To be sure, this kind of thinking has some important ramifications for our Christian walk. When we are fooled into thinking that favor means things going great in our lives, we’ll think the Christian who is suffering or otherwise can’t cut a break is not experiencing God’s favor. This may result in a superior attitude against other Christians, especially if our life is going pretty good.  You can hear this in the “favor ain’t fair” mantra spoken with an attitude, as if we have anything to brag about. Or if we are the ones in that situation, we might wonder what we’ve done wrong, why is God mad at us or even worse, does not love us. These are all lies of course. Scripture is full of characters who experienced hardship and persecution by believing the promises of God and being obedient to his will. Continue reading →

Meaty Teachers, Gospel Reachers

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

teacher_small groupI’ve been going through the book of Hebrews and it never ceases to amaze me with each reading, some new insight is gained (why repeated reading of the word is a lifetime exercise). So here’s something that struck me recently and was kind of enforced in our Sunday School class where we are going through the book of Galatians.

The writer of Hebrews exhorts Christians who were Jews and wanted to return to life under the law of Moses because Christian life was so challenging. He issues a series of warnings regarding those who shrink back and don’t mature in their Christian life.

About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food if for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good and evil. (Heb. 5:11-14)

A few observations: 1) There are basic principles of Christianity to be believed that these people have heard repeatedly; 2) moving from milk to meat having the basics so down pact that you can teach others and 3) this is intrinsically related to putting the word into practice such that the basics are lived out.  And here is where I think a careful distinction should be made. Continue reading →

You’re Not Suffering Unless I Say So

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

wagging_finger_cartoonOf course, many of us wouldn’t think to tell people this. We might actually consider uttering these words to another person rude and presumptuous. And yet, I find that this sentiment runs rampant in Christian circles. How? When we attempt to validate another person’s experience according to how we see it or what we think is a valid reason for suffering.

Just watch what happens when you encounter a person who equates suffering with something you don’t understand. We’ll minimize it and then do the comparison game. You know, that’s where we highlight the real sufferers. We’ll say things like, “well at least you’re not in situation X”. Or “I can’t believe that person is complaining about Z or Y”. What might have been more direct is to say “I don’t see how you think that is suffering.” Or we’ll invalidate their experience somehow through some trite cliche.

Or we’ll measure according to these pre-determined reasons. We’ll allow suffering for certain things, like death, but not for other things. We make the the determination what is valid or not.

Why is it incumbent on us to determine how another should feel about something? Where do we get the right to validate another’s experience? Because that’s precisely what we do when measure their suffering according to our own meter.

I don’t know why we do this. Perhaps it is pride, a lack of compassion or just disconnection from our own humanity. Actually, I think a lack of empathy might be at the core. Empathy recognizes that you may not be able to relate to another’s pain but have the ability to put yourselves in the other’s shoes. Empathy puts aside our own perspective according to our own experiences and recognizes that if someone hurts or feels shame, there is a reason for it. Continue reading →

Beyond Reformed: The Significance of Cross-Pollinated Dialogue

Lisa SpencerLeave a comment

As was staying abreast of the happenings in the General Assembly of the PCA, I came across this article, PCA: Past, Present, and Future.

Bryan Chapell commented on the importance of this discussion for the future of the PCA:

My sense is that most teaching and ruling elders in the PCA are thankful and grateful for our standards, but often confused and bewildered by how ineffective we seem to be in reaching our culture with the gospel. Therefore, it’s very important to discern how we may maintain our standards while at the same time being an effective instrument of Christ in our current day.

Ron Taylor says, “I hope all will see that we can have cooperative ministry and we want to be able to work better together across generational lines, ethnic lines, sociological lines….In the last 40 years, our cultural context has changed considerably with significant transfer of the population from small, rural areas, to large, urban ones…We have to consider how we can better penetrate urban areas.”

church_hand shakingI have only been in the PCA for 2 years, though my formation of Reformed theology started way before then. I continue to be impressed by the tension of maintaining commitment to Reformed roots and adapting to a changing environment. Of course the commitment is to Scripture but there is also recognition that Presbyterianism is not the only game in town. It seems to me that what these speakers are pressing is the need be in dialogue with other Christian denominations and affiliations. Though I unapologetically classify myself as Reformed, my eclectic doctrinal journey cautions me against making Reformed the dogmatic standard of Christianity to which everyone else must bow. My theological convictions impress upon me Reformed doctrine as a result of wrestling with the biblical texts and arguments past and present. But if I lose sight that Christ’s body encompasses other members who hold the core beliefs but deviate on some secondary issues then, I lose sight of the beauty of what it means to be in Christ’s body. It’s why I try not to push Reformed doctrine in the sense of some kind of superiority kick, as I wrote here. Admittedly, sometimes I fail. But it helps to remember that the true body of Christ is pretty big and transcends denominational lines. Continue reading →