Cracking the Door to 2013

door_ajarHave you ever entered a room where you flung the door open? No doubt, there is an enthusiasm and hopeful anticipation about what is beyond that door. We fling the door open because we are anxious to get there, most likely because there is something positive worth all the energy.

Conversely, cracking the door portrays a hesitancy and caution. Uncertainty of expectations produces a slow glimpse. Maybe there’s something there but not knowing what may be in store. Just a little peak to see if it’s worth opening to enter. Slow. Uncertain. Cautious. Questioning.

As 2012 draws to a close, I find myself cracking the door to 2013. Well of course I have no control over the entrance because whether I like it or not, the new year will begin. There’s nothing magical about the flip of a calendar. But each new year does bring with it hope – hope for change, hope for something better, hope for answered prayers.

I would love to swing the door open and embrace the new year. But as I reflect back over the past year, the reflection causes the year to bleed into the past few years – 4 to be exact since I moved to Dallas to go to seminary. It’s been a trying time of exposing, pruning, purging and barrenness. Trying beyond my wildest imagination. It’s exposed areas of my life where I long for restoration and change. A number of prayers, personal prayers have gone unanswered. The disappointment has been discouraging at times and breeds caution because disappointment has a way of strangling hope and tempering expectation. I don’t know if that’s good or bad but it is what it is. Continue reading