church life

Looking in the Driscoll Mirror

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

Mark DriscollLord knows I am no fan of Mark Driscoll. For some years now, I’ve been chagrined at his approach to ministry, his bully-like posture and evidence that he has treated staff disrespectfully and with disregard. Though I think he has contributed some good things to contemporary evangelicalism, it was difficult for me to see past the stains.

My disdain for him only grew when plagiarism charges emerged and there was no apology. The final straw came when it was discovered that the questionably ethically tactics were employed to market his book…and there was still defense. Or at least, that is what was portrayed in the articles I read. And I was angry. Angry that the celebrity status had apparently insulated this man from suffering the repercussions of his actions. Angry that so many still defended him. Angry that he was getting away with it.

Then he apologized publicly and acknowledged his error.  He volunteered to take some action to rectify the situation. And he put up a mirror for us to look at. The mirror reflected something back that raises the question of how we treat the repentant and examine the attitudes of our own heart.

Driscoll’s apology shined the light on my own history of transgressions.  It put up a mirror to those extended periods that I acted unseemingly, especially a 13 year rebellious period away from the Lord. I’m a person who battles many regrets in life and wish I had done many things differently.  I even recall times when those around me tried to bring things to my attention but I was so seeped in my own way that I blew them off. Even when I repented in 1999 from my rebellion away from him, I still had stuff that wasn’t dealt with, ways that I operated in and unaware of its stains on my Christian walk and rebuffing attempts at exposure and correction. Continue reading →

On a Bright Note…When the Church Steps Up

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

FrustratedBlackWoman1Shortly after publishing my last post What’s a Single Mom to Do?, I thought about editing it to downplay the emotions that so clearly came through. But I decided not to because I intentionally wrote the piece from a place of raw emotion and did not want to wordsmith or otherwise water it down with a clinical application of the tensions single parents feel, and in many cases, are made to feel, in the church.  Nonetheless, I probably came off a bit harsh on the church, which is a bit unfair. There are some congregations that do demonstrate care for the realities of single parents and avoid the careless cliche-ish ways that singles, and particularly, single parents are sometimes treated.

I came across this post by Ed Cyzewski, The Church was Super Lucky to Have Me as an On-line Consultant.   I confess that was somewhat convicted having just posted a criticism of how the church handles single parent, fatherless households. Ed rightly notes that there is a substantial amount of on-line energy devoted to rebuking the church for her woes, as if she is beholden to our virtual criticism. Instead he exhorts,

I’m just wondering if we could spent a bit more time writing about what’s working, what’s good, what’s out of the ordinary and unexpectedly good and authentic.

These aren’t always the most controversial or clickable topics. Frankly, they’re often hard to find, and unbearably ordinary without the flash and flare of big personalities. Perhaps that’s why it’s hard to write about all of the things that make church wonderful. It looks like a friend who offers to bail you out of a hard time, families who bring over meals when you’re struggling, single moms who support your wife through the tumult of a newborn, pastors who share openly about the burdens on their minds, elders who listen to the congregation, and leaders who are wholly invested in making church the best experience possible for the children who show up.

There are stories of hope out there, and I’ll be honest, I need them. I need to know that some good things are happening. It’s not all celebrity preachers building mansions out there.

On that vein, I thought it would be good and encouraging to talk about some positive experiences that I’ve had, where people have reached out and cared about our situation. Continue reading →

What’s A Single Mom to Do?: The Church, Singles and the Fatherless

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

I confess upfront that this is going to be a somewhat personal post because this is topic near and dear to my heart and one in which I have experienced great heartache. But hopefully leveraging my own angst might generate some food for thought, especially among church leaders but definitely among all the people of God.

I sometimes think we have a bi-polar disorder in the church. Now I’m not making light of those who suffer from this psychiatric condition. Why do I say that? The other day, a friend sent me a sermon on 1 Corinthians 7 that was given to singles at her church. Now granted, it was part of a series so maybe some of what concerned me was covered in another sermon. But the heart of it was pretty standard stuff I’ve heard before. Paul says singleness is better because you can devote yourself to the Lord. Don’t be over-desirous of marriage because that is idolatry (note the introduction of the dichotomies we like to create so much). If you really hate singleness and really want marriage, you probably have a problem. Bottom line, be content where you are.

single mom with kidsBut in the same breath, we sound the alarm regarding the fatherless. We decry single-mother households and their detrimental impact on boys growing up without dad. Of course, the assumption is that it is that way because the moms have no use for men. Never mind that contributing factors in these situations also includes 1) the guy totally abdicate his responsibilities; 2) the guy mistreats the woman that breaches the marriage covenant; or 3) the guy dies. Yes, I hate to break it to the statistics mongers but devaluing a dad in the home is not the only reason these situations happen. We live in a very broken world, which also produces bad kids with dads in the house. Yes, lets talk about that in the same breath as how bad off fatherless boys are. Now I’m not undermining the importance of fathers, not in the least. Only that we need to be cognizant of rash generalities and the fact that many single-mother homes would rather not want it that way.

So on one hand, we tell the single mother with the fatherless boy to be content and don’t really yearn for marriage. But on the other hand, we give her every reason to believe that her household is dire straights without a dad. What is a single mother to do? Continue reading →

Catching the Anointing

Lisa Spencer4 Comments

charismatic gatheringI fear this post might confront some popular held beliefs about the word anointing. But if there is ever a word that is overused and abused, its this word. For awhile, I’ve been wanting to address how anointing is actually used in the Bible but James White of Alpha and Omega ministries has done a superb job. He addresses the phenomenon of catching the anointing that occurs at mass gatherings, using Benny Hinn as an example and compares it to how the Bible uses anointing.

Here is the key excerpt from White;

“Does the Bible know anything of an anointing that can be ‘received’ through the yelling of the word ‘fire’ and the waving of a garment (accompanied by choreographed music, lighting, choirs, etc.)?  No, it does not.  Most of the appearances of the term (χρίω; χρῖσμα, τος) have to do, of course, with the Messiah, the anointed one.  But it does appear in reference to believers:

The One Who establishes us together with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.  (2 Corinthians 1:21–22)

This anointing is defined as the work of God and it is clearly connected with the dwelling of the Spirit in the believers, resulting in their union with the body of Christ.  It is not some ecstatic secondary experience that comes later, it is primary, foundational, and universal.  It is not something offered at revivals, it is definitional to what makes a person a Christian in the first place.  It is not mediated by traveling evangelists, it is the direct and powerful work of God in the salvation of his elect people.  Likewise, the phraseology appears in John’s epistle: Continue reading →

When Christians Hate to ‘Go to Church’

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

church stage_emptyThese are some quick thoughts related to opposition that I encounter from time to time at the notion of going to church.  Nothing highlighted that more than Kevin DeYoung’s post The Scandal of the Semi-Churched, in which he argued for the importance of regular gathering based on Heb. 10:25. Now of course the idea that God’s people should participate in weekly worship gatherings does not solely rest on this one verse. The breadth of Scripture illustrates that his elect engage in corporate worship, both in the OT and NT. This is not just people getting together and doing whatever, but organized in a way to honor the Lord and remind his people of who they are. This includes the presence of leadership, teaching, exhortation, prayer and sacraments. Scripture is too rich with this concept to ignore it.

It is not offensive to suggest that Christians should participate in weekly gatherings and yet sometimes that is the response.  To be honest, I’m actually amazed when I hear Christians spit on this idea considering that being a Christian means you are automatically part of the body of Christ.  Now in some cases, the opposition is to a particular church structure. Even then we should be cautious. If you disagree with a particular ecclesiology at least commend the ones who take it seriously. Don’t spit on them just because you disagree with the structure. It does not make sense for us to be called the body of Christ if that is not represented in some fashion as a corporate entity. And by corporate, I don’t mean 501c3 structure but a visible representation of our identity in Christ.

Now I get that many people have been abused by churches and her leaders. I get angry myself at the self-serving platforms that many who call themselves pastors have created. In contemporary evangelicalism, we have a problem with pragmatically oriented structures that result in individual needs dispensing rather than securing our corporate identity. I sympathize with the ones who have found churches to be a lonely and isolating experience, as I wrote here Church of the Lonely Place. I realize that Christians may go through a time of a nomadic existence to find a good body within which to land. There is fear and caution and concern and a whole range of human emotions associated with dealing with unsettling situations, especially when there are triggers from past hurt. But I don’t think the suggestion of weekly attendance should garner opposition.   Continue reading →