Christian living

In the Body of Christ, Extroverts and Introverts Need Each Other

Lisa Spencer3 Comments

I was expressing to a friend of mine the other day, how I don’t like sitting in large churches where I don’t know anyone.  The reason is quite simple. I am an introvert. Now I can be quite charming and sociable when I know people. But put me in a room full of strangers and I can get quite socially awkward. It is one reason I prefer smaller churches and/or places where fostering relationships are easier.

One common piece of advice that I get regarding my introvertedness is that my problem is I need to make the first move. In other words, the reason I often feel disconnected in a crowd or unable to make friends easily is because I’m not an extrovert. Basically, that is what this advice suggests. So the solution is to stop being an introvert but be an extrovert.

I am troubled by this advice, which I’ve heard so much. First, it tells me the problem is that how I am designed is deficient.  Second, it is telling me that I should be someone I am not.  And while I admire those who are able to overcome their introvertedness, I don’t know that is the best solution.

I recall many times when I’ve been in a situation where I was or had the propensity to be socially awkward and what broke me out of it was interacting with an extroverted person.  What this says to me is that the extrovert being who they are helped me with who I am.  That is where some really good connections were made.

Taking that a step further, I can’t help but see the application for body life in our Christian communities. Rather than telling the introvert or the extrovert to be someone they are not, they can help each other by being who they are. The extrovert can break an introvert out of their shell. On the contrary, since extroverts can be overbearing, the introvert can calm them and curb the propensity towards intrusiveness.

So I really think we need to evaluate how we advise people to overcome their introvertedness or even extrovertedness. Let them be who they are. They need each other.

For Those Who Know Too Much

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During a trip to California a few years ago,  my dad made a remark about the ex-husband of one his neighbors. Now they live in a very nice, gated condo community with each building consisting of 2 vertical condo units. Apparently, the ex-husband of the downstairs condo unit owner maintains active involvement in his ex-wife’s life. So my dad vocalized his observation about how although the ex-husband lives just a few houses down, he always drives to the ex-wife’s house. My dad was insistent that he figured out the reason, “Jim”, who is retired obviously needed to feel like he was going somewhere and making the 200 yard trek via vehicle satisfies this need. It was not until he expressed this epiphany to my step-mom, that we learned the real reason. “Jim” has emphysema from years of heavy smoking, and gets too winded to walk even the short distance. My dad thought he had the guy figured out.

I see a very similar scenario in the book of Job. Job is stricken with utter loss, devastation and sickness and is utterly miserable. His friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar think they have it figured all out. God must not be pleased with Job, Job must have some sin in his life, God must be trying to teach Job a lesson, there is something Job must do before God removes the hand of judgment upon Job. They offer words of comfort, admonishment and wisdom according to their assessment of the situation. Of course, what they have failed to recognize is that God has his own purpose for Job’s suffering, that is significantly removed from the friends’ assessment they are so convinced must be the reason for Job’s malaise. They were wrong.

The devil got in God’s face about his favor and protection towards the righteous, that he insisted if God would remove his hedge of protection, then surely righteousness would fail. But God obviously was so confident in Job and his faithfulness, that Job received the honor of proving the devil wrong. God insisted that Job would not fail Him. He was right. Continue reading →

Integrity Doesn’t Stay in the Closet

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

I saw this picture on Facebook a few days ago with a very common saying about integrity. Well, I think it sounds like a good and reasonable definition. It denotes honesty. If we have integrity we will be honest people when no when is watching. In other words, it looking at integrity from the outside to the inside.

But I think there’s something more to integrity than this simplistic saying will allow. Integrity is about our actions lining up with beliefs. So whatever we believe about something or someone our actions will be consistent with that.  We lack integrity when we do or say something that is inconsistent with our belief. This means looking at integrity from a reverse angle – from the inside to the outside. Continue reading →

Sanctification is a Gospel-Centered Waltz…

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Not a Try Harder Two-Step. Yet, that is an easy pit to fall into. I think this mainly happens when we see the gospel as a requirement for conversion but not for sanctification. So what happens is we embrace the message of salvation and receive God’s free gift of grace. But then compliance kicks in. There is holiness to achieve, habits to break, transformation to accomplish. So we set goals, engage in disciplines, participate in activities. The comparison game only fuels the accomplishment seeking – the need to do more, try harder, achieve and look the part.  Success secures confidence but failure brings shame. Repeat cycle.

What a tiring way to live and not the abundant life that Christ came to give us. The gospel is not just for conversion but is the very foundation of Christian life. You are a Christian because of the irresistible call of a loving and gracious Father, who accepts us through belief in the Son and secures us through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. We are already sanctified (set-apart) and made holy upon conversion (Romans 6:3-6). Continue reading →

Lessons from the Runway: Delusions and Community

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I don’t care for many reality shows but I confess to being a Project Runway fan and it’s a diversion from my the crime drama genre I like so much.  If you are not familiar with the show, 16 aspiring designers are given challenges each week to show their proficiency and creativity as a designer.  The ultimate goal is to win the prize of $100,000 to start their own line, a spread in a popular magazine and the notoriety that goes with it  Now in it’s 10th season, there is something about the combination of watching the creative process and the human dynamic unfold with each episode. Most of the designers come with some pretty well established experience. Some have worked with well known designers. And all of them think they are the next best thing out there.

The human dynamic that emerges on the show is fascinating. Some are consistently good and their work speaks for itself.  They may toot their own horn and even sound obnoxious in the process. But when their work product stands to their words, it is validated.  For the most, however, there exists a fair amount of delusion among many of the contestants who take aim at other designers and their supposedly inferior work.

Tim Gunn serves as mentor and fashion guru who lends a critical eye to designer’s products while they are in progress. Sometimes he has to tell that overly confident designer that there is something not working right with their design. He gives them some suggestions on how they can rethink the design to something that is more likely to wow the judges. For the most part, I have found myself in agreement with his input. The camera does not lie. If something doesn’t look right, it doesn’t look right no matter how much the designer engages in self-exaltation. Continue reading →