Christian living

Cleaning the Hurt?

Lisa Spencer1 Comment

nativity-starIt’s no secret that holidays can be a hard time for some. Whether its from broken relationships, disappointments, family dysfunction, regret from the past or just plain loneliness, some will experience hurt. Of course, it’s not just at the holidays although they tend to highlight it. Let’s face it, no one wants to hurt emotionally or psychologically.  There is nothing pleasurable about pain and our desire is to remove it far from us as possible. We live in a very therapeutic culture. Billions of dollars are spent each year on self-help tools, psychologists and other fixes to make hurt go away from our history, mistakes, present realities or future fears.

Christians are not exempt. Having just spent this past semester in a biblical counseling class, it reminded me of how fragile and complex is our humanity and how much the raw stuff of life truly impacts us, even if we want to deny it. There are various tools at our disposal to aid with getting over the areas in our lives that have caused hurt and in some cases, even harm.

But, it strikes me that Christians can become so intent to remove any traces of hurt in their lives, that the sanctifying process is actually hindered. We can spend an inordinate amount of time trying to fix ourselves in order to live a life that’s pleasing…to us, so that we feel good about ourselves. Making peace with your past turns into a creation of peace in the present so that we don’t have to experience hurt in our lives and get rid of those pesky little triggers that catch us unaware.  By doing so I wonder if its possible that we remove the very thing that God works to grow us deeper in our faith and Christian walk. Continue reading →

How Do Christians Change?

Lisa SpencerLeave a comment

I like what M. Craig Barnes says about that. He writes,

pastor as minor poet“The restoration of Christ, often referred to as conversion, does not make us into different people but converts us back to what God designed us to be from the beginning – specifically, creatures who bear the mark of holiness. This is a progressive process through which we are changed ‘from one degree of glory to another’ (2 Cor. 3:18). But our movement through this sanctification occurs not through our own efforts at developing piety. It is only as the Holy Spirit binds us into the life of Christ that we are able to take on his holiness. Thus, our spirituality is always vicarious, since it is through this union in Christ that are made holy. He is the image of God that we bear in our lives.

The significance of this for pastoral encounters is found in the unique way we invite people to make changes in their lives. We do not peddle images of the super-Christian and tell our parishioners to try harder to attain the goal. That’s just another false image. And it will leave us only with more judgment by tossing out the not-good-enough Christian into our heap of failures. The only way out of the judgement trap is for pastors to keep pointing to the true image of the God in whom ‘we live and move and have our being’ (Acts 17:28). This is the God revealed in Jesus Christ, ‘and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth’ (John 1:14). So with poetic irony, pastors help people to change not by talking about them, but by talking about the God revealed in Christ.” (93)

This is so much in line with what I wrote a while back Why I Do Not Teach Christian Living Principles. Somehow, this idea exists that Christians mature by giving them a list of principles to measure up to and then pointing out how they are not measuring up. This only creates condemnation or self-righteousness. Rather, we are changed into the image of Christ through identification as the Holy Spirit does his work and we respond to that work, accordingly.

Disappointed? It’s your fault of course

Lisa Spencer3 Comments

sad_manI’ve been mulling over this article You Can’t Turn Lemons into Lemonade, especially as I wrestle with some deep, abiding and lengthy disappointment. I appreciated the honesty in which the author acknowledges that we do experience disappointment in this life. Try as we might, we just can’t make it right so its important to think about our disappointments theologically and put them in perspective.  I noticed some of the reactions to it that made it seem like as long as we know of our future hope, we should not be disappointed.

I’ve heard this before…

I often get the impression in our Christian circles that disappointment is taboo. It’s not that disappointment is not a reality but when we do get disappointed, its because we need to adjust our attitudes.  I have often heard this expressed this way – the problem is our expectations. If we could just temper our expectations than we won’t be disappointment anymore. The underlying sentiment is that disappointment is a product of our own choosing, that if we make the necessary changes than we should not be disappointed. But more telling in this sentiment is the understated reality that somehow disappointment is our fault.

But what this misses is the fact that we live in imperfection. Our lives are not perfect and neither is the world.  I’m struck by Paul’s words in Romans 8

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that creation itself will be set free from its bondage of corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we are now saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. (Romans 8:18-25) Continue reading →

Re-fashioned Relationship: Creating an Emotionally Satisfying Christianity

Lisa Spencer5 Comments

I’ve been reflecting recently on the concept of relationship that seems to be rampant within Christian circles. Somewhere along the way, we’ve created the false dichotomy of religion vs. relationship, something I addressed in this post.

One of the neat things about God’s revelatory process is that he contextualized himself to the culture of the ancient Near East, adopting the various symbols, structures and norms but doing something unique to show that he is the one true God. This is no different when he established the covenant with Abraham, Moses and David (some would say Noah) to secure relationship with his people. Based on what a covenant was in the ancient Near East, there was both promise and expectation.

Looking at the breadth of 66 books, the fulfillment of covenant relationship in Christ was of course the whole point. One only need look at the book of Hebrews to understand that the “better way” foreshadowed in the Old Testament was Christ himself, establishing a new covenant (cf Jeremiah 31:31-34), thus fulfilling previous covenants…

The main point here is that this was the means by which God established relationship. It was not just some willy-nilly, feel good, “being in love with Jesus” type of thing that typically gets associated with our Christianity.  Relationship with God is governed by promise and expectation specified in Scripture. We can expect for him to be God based on his promises to us ultimately found in Christ. There is expectation for us to love him with our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love neighbor as ourselves. There is expectation for us to walk in his ways. I think that is an accurate depiction of religion based on its own definition.

I think the problem is that we’ve taken the concept of relationship further to define what that relationship must look like and often it is according to what we expect from our earthly relationships. We’ve imposed these expectations on Christianity. Imposed is a good word, I think, when we dictate the terms. So when we say that God is relational, it has come to mean in many cases a relationship that are emotionally satisfying to us. Continue reading →

Where is your boast?

Lisa Spencer3 Comments

blurry_visionAs my seminary excursion is headed for a close  next semester, I find myself with an increased inability to describe exactly how these past five years have been. Juxtaposed to new friendships, great opportunities of learning and rich fellowship has been some pretty intense personal upheaval. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if I had a picture of how rocked my boat would have been I probably would have stayed anchored in Rhode Island. It has been the best of times and the worst of times.

Disappointments, failure, broken dreams, uncertainty, unanswered prayers.

While I am immensely appreciative of the shake down I received to cut loose some long-held baggage, it’s left me a bit shaken. Shaken in my ability to make sound choices, shaken in certainty of my direction. An unfortunate employment situation has left me even more shaken in my confidence in my abilities. Shaken as a face unemployment, downgrading my resume and trading off some long held components for something else more suitable, hopefully aligned with seminary pursuits. Maybe I’m not as smart, or articulate or as accomplished as I thought. I’m walking that fine line between critical evaluation and crashing confidence. Surely, I have much to offer but also wanting to be honest.

And I cry to the Lord, ‘what has all this been about? Why is there so much uncertainty so close to graduation? Why all this loss and failure? Where are you taking me? Why have you not answered my many prayers, turned things around by now and restored the years the locust have eaten?’ I weep. I grope. I question. I battle feeling like a loser.

But the one place I find solid ground is the resting place in Christ.  I’m learning this is where I win, because he already won.  In my imperfection, I can rest on His perfection that yields fruit over time. In my uncertainty, I can hope in his certainty that the Father knows exactly what is going on and exactly what he is doing and exactly how this will work out. I can only see through a very dim glass that at times has fogged to minimal visibility. But at the same time with clearer vision. Continue reading →